When you meet
someone new, under social or business circumstances, it's important to know how
to address the individual standing in front of you. Properly addressing people
in different situations shows you're respectful of their position and mindful
of not offending them in any way. Refined social etiquette as it relates to
addressing others promotes smooth and friendly conversation.
Here are 10
tips for properly addressing people in different situations:
1. If in Doubt,
Keep it Formal if you meet someone in a situation and you're unsure of how to
address him or her, err on the side of caution by using formal address. If the
person on the receiving end feels this is too 'stuffy' of an address, they will
let you know. For example, you may say, "Nice to meet you, Sir!"
Whereupon the person may say, "Please, call me Bill." So, until
directed otherwise, use formal address to start your conversation.
2. Use Mr.,
Mrs., Miss, and Ms. When You know Their Last Name until told otherwise,
use the person's surname with their title when you meet someone (if you know
his or her last name). Again, you may say, "Hello Mrs. Francisco!" She
may respond, 'Oh, it's Elaine; call me Elaine." If you use one of the
above salutations, continue with it in future meetings. There will be a natural
point where you and the other party may resort to first names as you get to
know each other better. Until then, stick with the formal address.
3. Use
Professional Addresses Where Applicable Are you addressing a member of the
medical or academic profession? If you are, be aware of their title as relates
to their profession. This is where the use of Dr. and Professor come in. Hey,
you may meet the Queen and have to use the words "Your Majesty!"
Whoever it is, try to find out beforehand their official title and use it
respectfully.
4. If You're
Still Not Sure, Ask Sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask someone how he or she
wishes to be addressed. Use formal address first, and then ask them if they
prefer something else. You can simply ask, "Is it okay if I call you
Rachel?" When you know this is their name you can ask this - they will
either say yes, or tell you what they prefer.
5. Sometimes
You Can Just Use First Names this is dependent on the situation and whom
you're meeting. You can usually get a feel for when to use first names only.
This is typically in informal social gatherings. It's also appropriate at some
formal social gatherings, for example at a wedding when you meet a group of
people at your table. Here, people normally say something like, "I'm Jeneth,
and this is my husband John." You respond with your first name and this
all breaks the ice and start the evening off on a friendly note.
6. Sometimes
You Should Only Use Last Names an example of this would be a business
conference. You may ask a question of another business professional and address
them by Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. In fact, Ms. is used quite often in business.
Ms. is applicable to a married or unmarried woman.
7. When
Corresponding by Email or Letter Be Formal... at First In written
correspondence, use formal address the very first time. This is in emails and
in handwritten letters (yes, some people still do write letters and good for
them!) Again, the recipient of your digital or paper correspondence will let
you know how they wish to be addressed in future communications. If they don't
let you know, then go with the status quo of formal address.
8. Be Aware of
Nicknames, Pseudonyms, and Titles of Affection Some people wish to be
addressed by a unique moniker. They may have a nickname or use a pseudonym. The
great spy novelist John le Carre's real name is David John Moore Cornwell, but
if you met him at a literary event, you would probably address him by his
pseudonym, 'Mr. le Carre." You may meet someone who always goes by a
nickname. I was in a social situation once where one person addressed another
saying, "Hi, Pop Tart." Of course, you have to discern whether a
nickname is reserved for close friends only. Again, you can address formally,
and then ask how they would like to be addressed. In addition, there are
the typical titles of affection people use such as "Pops" or
"Gramps" for a grandfather. Guys often use the term "Bud"
or "Buddy" in everyday discourse. Recently more popular is the use of
"Sister" between women.
9. Be
Consistent in Your Addresses until informed otherwise, be consistent in
how you address others. Did you initiate a conversation with someone by, for
example, calling them Ms. Davis? Unless she indicates otherwise, your next
address to her should not be on a first name basis, or 'Hey sister!" Use
common sense and be consistent in your addresses or you come across as
disrespectful.
10. Do Some
Research a lot of trouble in addressing others can be avoided by, if
possible, doing some research before meeting them. This doesn't work for
impromptu meetings; in those cases abide by the above tips. However, when you
know ahead of time who you will meet, research that they are and what they do.
This will give you an idea of how to address them. Think of it this way; the
leader of the Klingons probably knew ahead of time, through research, that he
must address the leader of the Starship Enterprise as "Captain Kirk."
Be mindful of
the above 10 tips for properly addressing people in different situations. You
acknowledge the position of others and you open the door to conversation based
on mutual respect. You know how nice it feels when someone addresses you in a
dignified manner upon meeting them. Properly addressing the individual
you're about to have a conversation with is a manifestation of the Golden Rule
of "Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you."
